Don't you just hate....

[GundamWingman21]

.... when that person is right there. There she is, sitting in front of you, sipping the coffee you just bought her. It's a nice, cool night with clear skies, the moon is out, atmosphere is great. She's smiling, laughing at the things you say to her. And you play all this in slow motion, making sure that smile stays on her face. Because that's what makes you smile. Her long, dark hair flapping as the wind takes it up in its arms. Ahhh, then you get jealous. Why, why does the wind get to play with her hair, and not you? Damn wind. Uh oh She's done laughing now, and slowly opens her eyes again to meet with yours. Oh, hell, you're lost now. Not in a bad way, in a good way. The only thing you're able to do for a moment is look at every bit of perfect you're looking at. That face.... those eyes, the lashes, those lips, cheeks, so on and so forth. You just love the eyeliner she has on, as well as her eye shadow. It's blue, because it matches her eyes. Haha, you tell yourself, even though you prefer natural eyes, those blue contacts she's rockin sure do look amazing on her. So you forget about the whole naturalness that you usually talk about, because hell! You dig it!

You know what this person means to you. You're always telling people you care about them, but dammit! This one.... something about this one. You imagine your life without certain women you know, who happen to be very close to you. Bah, you say, it wouldn't be THAT bad. And you roll play this in your mind with each and every single close friendship you have with a woman. And honestly! You'd never jeopardize your friendship with them intentionally. But, lets just say something were to happen between you and those girls... how would you feel? Ok, you might say, you'd feel pretty bad.... but totally manageable. Now, the girl sitting in front of you right now is about to comment on whatever it is you said that made her laugh. And it hits you..... I have not once put this person on the same boat as all these other women. I have not once thought to myself, in the 7 years I have known her, what my life would be like if I lose her. Whoa, you say to yourself, that's unlike you. You're usually so defensive, always trying to protect yourself from inner conflicts and harm. So you set up defense mechanisms that will instinctively activate when you're about to go through some dramatic change, such as losing a very close friend of the opposite sex. But this girl..... you have refused to put up a barrier for. And now you realize, this is huge. If she can get past my defenses, this isn't a joke.

She opens her mouth, as you're smiling at her sipping your own large cup of coffee. I'm glad I got this hot, because man it sure is starting to get chilly! That damn wind keeps blowin! "So I need to tell you something that is really random" she says. Of course, you love listening to everything she says anyway! "There was this guy I used to like back in high school. We would always run into each other, but for the whole four years there we never once talked. We just smiled at each other and that was that. You'd never believe what happened about a month and a half ago. He finds me on facebook and adds me, and he says 'hey you're that girl that I always saw in high school.' It started off as hello how are you what have you been up to, you know that whole enchilada. Then he asks to see me." Wait. Pause. You know this girl. You know how ridiculously nice she is, and how she's ALWAYS willing to hang out with people. You're now thinking to yourself, "are you effing sh*tting me? You barely started talking to him, and you're going to meet up with him? That's bull. I love how you're so easy going with this stuff but cmon, that's just stupid. At least get to know him for a few months or so before you say yes. But dammit, I know how you are, and I know you've already said yes." She opens her mouth to speak again. "So I met up with him, and we hit it off. It was amazing." Your smile slowly fades. You're thinking, crap I don't want to give off anything obvious so I'll crack a fake smile and act surprised. "Oh that's awesome! What did you guys do that made your night so amazing?" you ask. She replies, and you seriously don't give a damn what they did. All you're thinking about is "why... Why now? There's something I want to say to you.... so why?!" Then you ask her: "So.... what else happened?" You don't want to know. Honest to God you don't want to know. "He's.... sorta my boyfriend now." OH, HELL NO.

"Wait wait" you say. "Let me get this straight..... you don't know this guy AT ALL.... He adds you on facebook, you exchange a few messages, he asks to meet you, you agree. And on day 1 of meeting him, he becomes your boyfriend?"

"Yeah.... I know. Random, right?"

"............."

"What is it?"

"Oh, it's nothing. I'm just really surprised. I mean, I don't know ANYONE who has ever done that, or would - if you will. It's just very shocking news to hear.... May I ask when this happened?"

"On your birthday"

WHOA......... WHOA WHOA WHOA. On my birthday?! What?! You're thinking to yourself.... so now when my birthday rolls by, I have to sit and think about how this jack@$$ screwed up what I had planned to do tonight?!

"Damn, what! That's crazy!"

"Yeah I know.... hehe"


Hehe my ass. Why is it that everyone you end up dating... they have such an easy time winning you over. And yet why do I end up having to try so damn hard? You don't give off any sort of hints, which initially tells me you should wait before you say anything to me about your feelings. You always enjoy being with me. I always make you laugh. You've already told me I'm not the ugliest dude on the block, and I'm actually cute. I always show you a good time, and there are absolutely zero awkward moments with us. We're so comfortable with each other. SO WHY?

Oh boy, in your mind you've already lost it..... you're thinking about it way too much. She's still there in front of you!

"Hey, I need to get going. I have something I need to take care of."

Obviously it's bullsh*t. You just made an excuse to get the hell out. But she believes you, she always does.

"Yeah of course"

You drop her off, and as you're pulling away from her home, you're silent. No music. You're not in the mood. All you keep thinking about is why the hell is it so hard for you. Why are each and every single girl that you take a liking to, and granted there are VERY few, so damn hard to get involved with? Why is it so easy for others to win these amazing girls over you? What the hell, man! ONE DAY? ONE FREAKING DAY? You've got to be kidding me!

Now wait, if this were some typical girl you might have liked, it would be totally fine. No, not this one though. This girl is something else. This girl is the one you want. In fact, the one you've wanted the most out of EVERY other girl you've known. Blown. Gone. And how did it happen again? Oh yeah, you just kicked yourself over it a second ago. A day. It took a day. 7 years won over by 24 hours, one earth rotation along its axis. You've passed around the sun seven f*cking times. That's almost 2,557 f*cking rotations around earth's axis.

You go to bed that night, lying awake wondering. Cursing. As the frustration boils, you finally do the only thing you can do. You shed a tear, which many come to follow.

[PhineasFreak]

That is so familiar and so relevant you wouldn't belive it...

my heartfelt sympathies...

[Dustwave]

for both of you

[Xyz_39808]

Experience something new.

I bet is her mindset...

[travelyogatrance]

That was kind of beautiful, Gundam ~

Sorry its not worked out for you, but never say never...

[Bubble Wrap]

that really sucks man
I was in a similar situation about a year ago
at least she didnt have a boyfriend though

Ladies do us guys a favor
if your alone with a guy for coffee lunch dinner or whatever for the first time
do me a favor, at least keep in mind the possibility that they may be interested in you romantically, even if they dont give off any signals
so you dont do anything stupid that may break their hearts

she was bitch anyway, both the girl im refrencing and the one your talking about

[Ridley]

Ouch...

I don't want to say this is worse, but it is also pretty when a girl thinks she likes you, changes her mind early on and then tries really hard not to tell you. Stories like these are beginning to get me to think that just randomly asking people out is the best way to get a girlfriend, with no thought into how good of a couple you'd be.

[PhineasFreak]

Originally Posted by Ridley

...Stories like these are beginning to get me to think that just randomly asking people out is the best way to get a girlfriend, with no thought into how good of a couple you'd be.

that would be all very well, except situations like these generally seem to arise not from thinking carefully about how good a couple you'd make with someone but by involuntarily falling for someone - no choice in the matter, just BAM! there you are discovering quite how strongly you feel...

[GundamWingman21]

Originally Posted by PhineasFreak

that would be all very well, except situations like these generally seem to arise not from thinking carefully about how good a couple you'd make with someone but by involuntarily falling for someone - no choice in the matter, just BAM! there you are discovering quite how strongly you feel...

Phineas, I cannot even begin to tell you how right you are. Thank you so much. I remember when I first met her, I didn't think much of her. But over the years, she proved to be hands down one of the best people I have ever met. She is the only person who truly understands forgiveness, giving multiple chances to make right. She's the only person I know who desperately tries to not let a failed relationship/friendship end in nasty terms if things don't work out. A true friend. She's always there when you need her. She's the ONLY girl that ever asks to see me, and not having it the other way around. I'll ask, she'll ask. She meets you half way, ALL the time. She feels bad when I pay a lousy 2 dollars for her coffee beverage, always giving me a fist in the face because I pushed her hand aside and whipped out my credit card (lol hardly have cash). Other girls get used to this routine, so they stop offering to pay for themselves. JUST THE FACT that she has NOT ONCE stopped putting her fist in my face, hell even trying to pay for MY beverage on occasions.... what an incredible person. She HATES IT! She hates being paid for. But she loves paying for YOU. In all honesty, this girl is BEAUTIFUL. She's Chinese, with the Cantonese dialect. I never visioned myself with an Asian woman, I didn't think they were my type. And this girl having this kind of effect on me is astonishing. You will not meet a person like her ever again your whole lifetime. I guarantee it. One of a kind girl.



Bubble, thank you for the support my man. But not all women who do this are bitches. They don't intend to be. Obviously she had no intention of hurting my feelings.


why is Shah banned?

[PhineasFreak]

I feel i must ask, d'you think you actually had an opportunity and blew it by waiting too long or do you think you had fallen into the friendzone and never had a chance in the first place?

there's nothing worse than the thought of missing an such an opportunity - i would rather think i was already in the friendzone and hence have no choice but to wait for the pain to (eventually) fade away...

[p.s. this happened to me once before and the pain never went away completely - i'm wondering if it will be easier to deal with this time...]

[GundamWingman21]

Originally Posted by PhineasFreak

I feel i must ask, d'you think you actually had an opportunity and blew it by waiting too long or do you think you had fallen into the friendzone and never had a chance in the first place?

there's nothing worse than the thought of missing an such an opportunity - i would rather think i was already in the friendzone and hence have no choice but to wait for the pain to (eventually) fade away...

[p.s. this happened to me once before and the pain never went away completely - i'm wondering if it will be easier to deal with this time...]

First, the bolded statement.... Phin don't tell me you're going through it a second time I'd be devastated... Although I'm really glad you're around to completely relate to what's happening with me.

To answer your question, I'm going to tell you two things. It might not make any sense at all to most people. And that's the beauty of it. It'll help you understand exactly why this girl has the affect on me that she does.

First and foremost, she already put me on the friendzone. I knew this, and she'd always refer to it. Hell, she'd even tell me alllllllllll the time, just like every other girl. "You're one of my best friends."

Normally, this would crush a lot of dudes. But what on earth is this...... it's making me smile instead. Confused? Yeah, me too. I don't get it either. Being told you're such a great friend by the person you want to be with? I must be crazy, right? Wrong. Because I know her. I see right through her, first of all. And second, she's the only girl I know who would give things she finds best the way they are - a shot. In other words, if I do ask her out, she wouldn't reject. She'd be hesitant at first. But she would say, oh screw it, no harm can be done considering I know how great he is to me and how much I enjoy doing little things like getting coffee with him. Let me tell you all a little secret.... I have asked her out. And she did accept. A year ago she told me that there were about four guys that admitted liking her, and as a joke I said "haha! To hell with all those loser pricks, they only like you cuz you're fine as f*ck! Let me take you out instead." She laughs and says "you serious?" and I said "yeah why not? It's not like I'm going to rape you or something, we've known each other a long time and I'm very comfortable around you." And she says YES! She accepted and totally agreed. Her best friend tells me later that day (a woman) that, and I quote: "of all the guys that are telling her they like her, she says she likes you the most." Oh man that was SAWWEEEEEEEET to hear. But in all honesty, I was choosing a very stupid time to do this. She had recently broken up with a guy she claimed to love, and I'll tell you right now thats why I didn't continue going out with her. I didn't want to have any problems, and she even told me she doesn't want to drag me down.

So theres a little heads up on a bit of history between us. We've technically dated for 3 months or so, but didnt make it official because of complications. Sure dude that is totally fine. But at the beginning of this year, something happened. I realized how much I valued her. And thats when things started bursting out of me, that I had no idea existed. It was originally a joke, literally. I only wanted to see how it would work. And it was working for a while. But last month, when that story of mine happened, is when it hit me like a god damn freight train. I knew I liked her, A LOT... I contemplated it over and over again, and finally came to the conclusion that I'm simply nuts for her because of who she is. I was ready to finally tell her how I really felt, considering it's been well over a year since she's split with that dude. Then she comes up with this, and that's when I fell on my ass and couldn't get up. I still can't quite get up.... She's the one I want to be with. I've seen and gone out with many girls....... they don't even come close to being as great as she is.

She's earned my respect long ago. Therefore, I'll be a man and let her do as she pleases. I cannot hold her back, or ruin something she thinks is nice. No matter how much I want to reject it, change it, make her mine..... I can't do it because I'm not a selfish prick.


On a side note Phin, this girl loves it when I visit her. Her family owns a chain of restaurants, one happens to be located a mile from my house here in North Hollywood, California. I stopped by a few days ago, and she lectured me about how my hair was too long, how I needed to shave (I haven't been wanting to look pretty for ANYONE), that I didnt look good in a hat (haha that was funny.... I put a fist in HER face lol), and you know what? She gave me free food. Of course, I totally said screw you, and threw a 10 dollar bill at the cash register (the meal costs 8, 2 dollar tip for her w00t). Later that night, she texts me saying "I didn't think you'd visit today" and man o MAN this girl makes me melt every single time I talk to her....

What do you think? Kinda odd, huh? By the way, for the rest of you folks on these boards, I don't need any sort of lecture on where I messed up blah blah.... this isn't your typical relationship guy/girl bs. That's why I like her so damn much. Because she's too unique. So the games we normally play with men and women are TOTALLY OUT OF THE PICTURE.

[PhineasFreak]

That certainly is one helluva compliacted lead up to a situation! at least you have the security of knowing that she actually has shown the possibility of being properly interested in you - although she is with someone else right now, you can always secretly hope it doesnt last and that you will have another shot...

First time i went through such a situation i had spent about a year being friends with the girl before becoming housemates - it became apparent to me very quickly after we started sharing space together that she must have started feeling more than just friend thoughts toward me - stuff like if i was watching tv she would come cuddle up next to me and get far close than any platonic friend would, inevitably this led to kissing and stuff but never anything more. then one night we went out clubbing and started making out in the club, both of us knew instictively this was gonna go further so we just upped and left for home, but whilst i was in the queue for the cloakroom i blacked out - a proper faint which the doctor later suggested must have been due to shock... sadly this killed all further sexual contact for the night and and nothing further ever happened. I realised as a result of this night that i was absolutely head-over-heels in love with her but she seemed to cool off. not only had i missed my opportunity but she then started becoming increasingly promiscuous which tore me apart since i was still living in the same house as her. to top it off a couple of further occasions we did end up kissing and cuddling but stopping short of anything serious - as if i wasnt already toorn up and coonfused enough i became completely ****ed in the head by her and realised that she was just playing games with me. no wonder i never quite recovered from that experience...

of course, that wasn't exactly like your situation that you describe above, but that experience led me to believe that having been hurt that deeply once due to falling for someone and missing my opportunity that it would never happen again - i thought i would never fall that hard again or end up in a situation where i wouldnt act immediately to ensure i didnt get hurt due to being wiser and more experienced. WRONG.

i do, as a rule tend to fall fast and fall hard when it comes to women - and generally fall out of my infatuations and crushes just as quickly. nevertheless i have somehow managed to yet again fall for someoone in a situation that's astonishingly similar to the one you describe and i'm damned if i know what to do to avoid the pain this time round...

[GundamWingman21]

Omg the games.... THE GAMES. Those gosh darn games people play. Do you see why I feel the way I do for her??? She don't play those f*cking games, man. I can't believe she did that to you. It's making me think that she had all this planned from the start, just to see how you'd react. If I'm right....... what a......... s;akfnsadp;jfnasifbjuawieufbjdsf B*T*C*H! Nobody deserves that. I've noticed something about the DI forums. I've been a part of many forums, whether they're music or cars or whatever. It seems like fellow EDM lovers tend to be a hell of a lot more down to earth and friendlier. Rather than criticize you for certain things, everyone on these boards just puts in their 2 cents and leave it at that. Rarely do I ever see two people on the DI forums going at it. Which leads to believe that everyone who posts on these forums DON'T DESERVE TO GO THROUGH WHAT YOU DID because we're all genuinely nice people (who are a hell of a lot smarter too). Damn Phin, if I see that chick I'm going to beat her ass.

My predicament is still really bad, and progressively getting worse. I didn't mention it in my previous post because I was hoping you'd say what you just did about the whole "hoping things don't last." Even if it doesn't.... she's increasingly showing me/indicating verbally to me that even if they don't work out, she doesn't think we would either. And that really gets under my skin when she tells me that. You seriously cannot know for sure. You just can't. I know you have to respect a woman's feelings and whatnot, but when you care as much as I do for an individual... don't people teach you to FIGHT for what you want??? Am I wrong here??? Granted there's a barrier between making yourself look like a freak who has problems, but obviously I know how to not make myself look like a total loser. So every time I tell her "uncertainty prevails, there's no way you can know for sure. Maybe someday you'll come to the realization that hey, he IS the only guy who has cared for me as much as he claims" just like I did when I figured out my true feelings for her. She says it so casually too, GOD that irritates me.

"I don't think it would work."

"Why?"

"Because I see you as a friend."

"You've said that before I even asked you out, and you accepted anyway. And didn't I hear you say that you liked me better than the others at that time? So you did like me, too."

"Well.... yeah, at one point I thought so."

"Then???????"

"I don't know..."


Oh god, "I don't know." The only way people escape a confrontation of this magnitude is by using the easy way out - the I DON'T KNOW method.

I know her.... I know her very well. I know she'd give me another shot. And that's what devastates me. The fact that I know she'd give me another shot, makes me linger around, perhaps fall even more for her.

She's trying to push me away gently, trying to free me. She keeps saying "why me? Theres plenty of women out there better than me." Even if that IS true, that doesn't mean jack squat to me. I don't care about THEM... I care about HER. And everytime I say that to her, she wants to punch the sh*t outta me. But you know what.... she came back the other day and said "I don't know if I should be really happy, or sad." This told me 1 thing........ SHE DIGS IT. I always make her smile, man. It's instant whenever I'm with her. It a mutual feeling between the two of us.


Honestly... I think I'd rather get played by a woman

[PhineasFreak]

Originally Posted by GundamWingman21

...She's trying to push me away gently, trying to free me. She keeps saying "why me? Theres plenty of women out there better than me." Even if that IS true, that doesn't mean jack squat to me. I don't care about THEM... I care about HER... ...Honestly... I think I'd rather get played by a woman

and there's the thought process that is driving me insane right now - although i have wanted her for well over a year, i keep telling myself "it's just a crush, an infatuation - feelings will go away given time", yet, she keeps showing me pics of single friends of hers on facebook saying "look how pretty she is" etc. but all i think is, yes they are, BUT they're not YOU...

i keep trying to convince myself that it's better to be attracted to someone and recieve no mixed signals, just to have to deal with unrequited feelings, than it is to be hurt and toyed with like i was before, but i'm failing to convince myself.

no matter how hard i try to tell my self just accept that i need to move on and get over her, i'm constantly thrown into turmoil 'cos she will say and do things that send signals that we could be more than just friends...

layer upon this the fact that i have low enough self esteem to go through periods of doubt that she could ever want me 'cos regardless of how many girls i've been with previously, i'm stll able to convince myself i'm unattractive and undesirable in every way possible. yet this will be instantly forgotten the moment she shows the slightest interest in me due to that idiotically impossible optimism that blinds the infatuated soul to all realities...

[rh1n0]

I can relate - heavily.

I'm just the guy that she tells about how excited she is about some other guy, they talk, text, meet up with each other and then sure enough the guy will do something to make her never want to talk to him again. Repeat. The whole time I just have to sit there and hope that she sees the type of guys she is into isn't what she even wants. Any time we're together we have smiles on our faces, we laugh and we can have serious conversations when we need to also.

I'll go out of my way to do her favours (she is rarely ever insistent - but does she have to be?); leaving my commitments early to drive her places, pay for things, research things, etc. all without giving it a second thought, just to get the 'thank you' from her and of course to see her(!).

When I'm with her I care very little for what else is going on besides us and I feel as though we are moving forwards in our 'ship' and it feels great. Come the next day though it will be back to me being the friend, hearing about some guy that she now hates...

I can't understand why she would want to go through something like that again and again - surely in time she will realise that the only close guy friend that she has that doesn't make her want to break things or put her in uncomfortable situations is me. Maybe then she will open up to the idea of giving us a chance? Then again, I'm not entirely sure she knows I even have feelings for her:
I don't want to tell her and then have that awkward silence directly afterwards, or even change the type of person that she is toward me.
I doubt I'd be able to let her know that I like her without alerting our entire group of friends.
At the same time however, as our group of friends has seen the way we interact with each other they have assumed that there is something going on (I wish =[ ) and have said as such out loud for both of us to hear. Her response is usually something like "Oh god, not this again." - in a fun and upbeat way though.

Things are more complicated than they appear with my situation, will give details if anyone cares, no point clogging up your thread further (sorry, by the way).

If you figure out some cheat codes to this scenario, please pass them on.
By the way, change a few details here and there from your first post and it would be perfectly fit to me, perfect wording though, paints a vivid picture, for me at least.

[PhineasFreak]

Originally Posted by rh1n0

...
I doubt I'd be able to let her know that I like her without alerting our entire group of friends.
At the same time however, as our group of friends has seen the way we interact with each other they have assumed that there is something going on (I wish =[ ) and have said as such out loud for both of us to hear. Her response is usually something like "Oh god, not this again." - in a fun and upbeat way though...

i'd be willing to bet serious money that seeing as your friends have all noticed your feelings for her, she too is well aware of how you feel but is avoiding discussing it - sounds from that description like you are deep in the friendzone and there's no easy way out (unless the complications you mention shed a different light?)...

[GundamWingman21]

Originally Posted by rh1n0

I can relate - heavily.

I'm just the guy that she tells about how excited she is about some other guy, they talk, text, meet up with each other and then sure enough the guy will do something to make her never want to talk to him again. Repeat. The whole time I just have to sit there and hope that she sees the type of guys she is into isn't what she even wants. Any time we're together we have smiles on our faces, we laugh and we can have serious conversations when we need to also.

I'll go out of my way to do her favours (she is rarely ever insistent - but does she have to be?); leaving my commitments early to drive her places, pay for things, research things, etc. all without giving it a second thought, just to get the 'thank you' from her and of course to see her(!).

When I'm with her I care very little for what else is going on besides us and I feel as though we are moving forwards in our 'ship' and it feels great. Come the next day though it will be back to me being the friend, hearing about some guy that she now hates...

I can't understand why she would want to go through something like that again and again - surely in time she will realise that the only close guy friend that she has that doesn't make her want to break things or put her in uncomfortable situations is me. Maybe then she will open up to the idea of giving us a chance? Then again, I'm not entirely sure she knows I even have feelings for her:
I don't want to tell her and then have that awkward silence directly afterwards, or even change the type of person that she is toward me.
I doubt I'd be able to let her know that I like her without alerting our entire group of friends.
At the same time however, as our group of friends has seen the way we interact with each other they have assumed that there is something going on (I wish =[ ) and have said as such out loud for both of us to hear. Her response is usually something like "Oh god, not this again." - in a fun and upbeat way though.

Things are more complicated than they appear with my situation, will give details if anyone cares, no point clogging up your thread further (sorry, by the way).

If you figure out some cheat codes to this scenario, please pass them on.
By the way, change a few details here and there from your first post and it would be perfectly fit to me, perfect wording though, paints a vivid picture, for me at least.

Rhino, don't EVENNNNN trip about clogging up the thread. This thread isn't just about me, it's about all of us. Hence, the reason why I titled it "....Don't you just hate", because it's directed towards each of us! If you want to share more detail, I will surely direct my attention to it as I have with Phin. Besides, it gives us a little relief, wouldn't you agree.... that what you feel is so very similar to what another feels.


I've bolded that part of your post because I'd like to emphasize how screwed I am. You see, there's a major difference between what you're experiencing and what I'm experiencing. The fact that you're afraid to tell her means you don't fully trust her. If trust isn't the right word, maybe I'm missing it - I can't explain the sensation too accurately. I'd have to be an expert with poetry to be able to do that. But as for me, I was not afraid whatsoever to tell her hey, I most definitely like you (obviously it's far more than just "like" at this point, which I was about to tell her before this whole ordeal happened. Not to scare her or anything, but just let her know that I haven't felt what I feel for her EVER. And that is an amazing thing considering my defense mechanisms). In fact, I'm not afraid to tell her anything at all. She's the type who PREFERS to be told, instead of having it lie in the shadows. She was happy that I told her, because she knows the feeling of having internal turmoil and not being able to express it (she's too fkin good, man! When the hell was the last time you heard a girl tell you 'if you like me, you should tell me'?) And because of the fact that I can tell her ANYTHING without having to worry about any awkward moments, makes me fall even harder. There is absolutely no, zero, null, nadda, zip feeling of fear when it comes to her. If I seriously had to explain what it feels like, the only thing I can come up with, as cliche as it sounds (but works), is that you feel like you're sitting next to an angel sent from above. Absolute perfectionism. I'm constantly telling myself "do I really know this person? Is she for real?" I just can't believe it. Like I've said before... Life is full of uncertainties. Keep your head up... you never know what can happen. I'm not going to be the idiotic moron who tells you "just go for it man!" blah blah BLAH.... God I hate it when people say that. Don't they realize its A HELLUVA LOT MORE COMPLICATED THAN THAT?

All I can tell you is that you yourself will know. Until it comes around, try and take it easy..... believe me I know it's hard.

and there's the thought process that is driving me insane right now - although i have wanted her for well over a year, i keep telling myself "it's just a crush, an infatuation - feelings will go away given time", yet, she keeps showing me pics of single friends of hers on facebook saying "look how pretty she is" etc. but all i think is, yes they are, BUT they're not YOU...

i keep trying to convince myself that it's better to be attracted to someone and recieve no mixed signals, just to have to deal with unrequited feelings, than it is to be hurt and toyed with like i was before, but i'm failing to convince myself.

no matter how hard i try to tell my self just accept that i need to move on and get over her, i'm constantly thrown into turmoil 'cos she will say and do things that send signals that we could be more than just friends...

layer upon this the fact that i have low enough self esteem to go through periods of doubt that she could ever want me 'cos regardless of how many girls i've been with previously, i'm stll able to convince myself i'm unattractive and undesirable in every way possible. yet this will be instantly forgotten the moment she shows the slightest interest in me due to that idiotically impossible optimism that blinds the infatuated soul to all realities...

Bold statement - precisely.

It is better to have unrequited feelings than to be toyed with Phin.... I no longer put up with this. If I get played, I simply let that girl know, and tell her that was extremely childish of her to do and tell her to grow up. If you don't want me, then leave me the hell alone. All they do is apologize like crazy, and I end up telling them "apologies don't suffice for feelings." The lowest thing a woman can do to a man is play with his feelings.

May I ask what she keeps doing that sends you these false signals? I'd like to know a little more before I tell you to ask her to stop. I don't want to jump to conclusions so quickly. I like details. Isn't it scary.... what your feelings can do to you? but don't be pessimist my man otherwise I'm gonna have to slap your ass. Since you and I have both gone out with women, we can easily conclude that we're not the ugliest dudes around. That helps. However, you for damn sure have gone out with more girls than I have, this I can just tell. I haven't gone out with many *in that way*, friendship wise of course I've gone out with the lot of them. It's difficult for us, but I feel like it's been way more difficult for me than it should be.

[Bubble Wrap]

Originally Posted by GundamWingman21

Besides, it gives us a little relief, wouldn't you agree.... that what you feel is so very similar to what another feels.

some ways yes some ways no,
personally i'm not really interested in anyone at the moment, and seeing everyone talks about this makes me a bit pessimistic about my future (sort of a "if this happens to them, its pretty likely it will happen to me" phenomenon).

[travelyogatrance]

Gundam, how lucky are you to not only know such a wonderful person, but to have her as a friend!!

I know youre in a lot of pain, which I think will likely pass with time, but you are lucky indeed to have come across such a person.

Also, and not that you should have false hope, but keep in mind that people and circumstances change. Although not probable, it is _possible_ that one day, maybe two years from now, she'll realize, 'omg! the guy for me has been right in front of me this whole time...' That might never happen, so continue on with your life as you would have. But don't torture yourself over what might have been.

To quote Angelica Huston in Ever After:

"darling, nothing is final until you're dead, and even then, I'm sure god negotiates" ~

[Bubble Wrap]

^I would still keep my eye open for other women if i were him though