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Unread Oct 23rd, 2006, 07:42 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Unhappy Goodbye warmth and sweetness

Goodbye A.

I realize my words won't reach you, but I must vent them before they abscess within me and consume whatever will I have left to live, which isn't much these days.

If your pain is that great, then, perhaps, you have indeed done the right thing, and you are better off.

Not that I'm one to talk, having attempted suicide in the not too distant past. But as I've said before, my brain's broken. Still, if you've escaped the slings and arrows of this world, then good on you; no more pain. No more pain.

Yet, I'll miss your ready smiles; your girly phraseologies; your wide-eyed innocent romance with M, giddy with emotion and anticipation; school-girl like crushes that are meaningless against the larger backdrop of reality, and yet so utterly important for the way they deny the ugliness of the world. Some would call such romances silly, but I can't help but be enchanted with their hope-filled potentials.

You are gone, and it is a loss for this world, your ready indulgences, your innocent beamings at almost every remark.

I regret deeply that I had not grown closer to you; that I had not learned just how deep into the bone the world had cut you, how painful existence must've been after M's proclamation. May your soul, filled with all the colors of the wildest acid sensations, finally be at rest.

We are lessened at the loss.
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Unread Oct 23rd, 2006, 07:58 PM   #2 (permalink)
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OMG nutjob! Mate this sounds terrible We have all missed you on irc like you wouldn't believe Please drop in and say w00t or anything for that matter! I'm gonna fill yer inbox up with spammy hugs too ...and don't you dare delete em!
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Unread Oct 23rd, 2006, 09:29 PM   #3 (permalink)
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My dearest friends...

i dont know where to start.. today was an awful day... well the story is like this: i was in love with the bestest girl ever.. but there were two persons.. just two fcking persons.. trying to fck me.. they always said shit about me.. all the worst things u can imagine.. all.. and today on morning.. i decided to end my life and my suffering.. i just tried.. i wish someone can wake me and say this was a bad dream..

my love decided to put and end to her life.. and i was trying to contact her.. all the time saying please reply me please answer the phone please... and now i arrive home and i read her mail.. and this is the worst day of my life.. im really the worst person ever... im the one that should be dead.. im the one.. im the ****ing one that should be dead!!! im the one who sucks.. not her, she was the bestest girl ever.. she was magic.. i dont know what to do or who to call.. right now i just want to die.. im sorry for causing problems to all of u, I hope god have her on his hands now... and i hope god ends my suffering soon.. please someone tell me this is not real.. please tell me that.. im really sorry... she was the love of my life and this all caused just for 2 people that not even know me and just wanted to ruin our life.. i hope they are happy now.. please wake me.. someone wake me...
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Unread Oct 23rd, 2006, 09:55 PM   #4 (permalink)
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what in the world? what's going on?
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Unread Oct 23rd, 2006, 10:29 PM   #5 (permalink)
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We have THREE different members who know someone who committed suicide today? Im with Gino: what is going on?! Tragedy everywhere. My condolences to all~

Do not forget the support and caring you will find on this forum from people all over the world; let the music take control of your body and your soul and lead you on the path of healing~

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Unread Oct 24th, 2006, 12:59 AM   #6 (permalink)
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The only comment I can make is to express the deep sadness I feel as I read these posts ...

As a practical measure I can provide this link to the UK end of the Samaritans, perhaps other members can post links to similar organisations in their countries.

http://www.samaritans.org/

Whether you are facing pressures that you feel you can no longer bear, or are trying to cope with the aftermath of the suicide of a friend or loved one ...

at a time when you feel that you cannot speak, that there is no point in speaking, because no one really listens to you or really hears you ...

At any time of the day or night you will find someone who will listen to you, they will not judge you, they will listen and let you express the depths of your despair, in your own way, at your own speed ..

and they will not stop listening.
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Last edited by OTTI : Oct 24th, 2006 at 01:05 AM.
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Unread Oct 24th, 2006, 07:36 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Just try to remember that time heals everything. And no matter how hard today may seem, tomorrow offers a chance for a better day. So keep reaching for your tomorrow's and eventually the path gets clearer and the load gets a little lighter.
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Unread Oct 24th, 2006, 08:53 AM   #8 (permalink)
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There is always help to be found. You can always recreate your life into something different if you don't like what it is now. Join the Army, the church, whatever...use it for something instead of nothing. There is no reason to limit oneself. ...if still in doubt, become a Porsche mechanic and/or move to London.

Oh wait! You know the first post could be just a really ****ed up end to Sesame Street episode. They will just have to get different letters than A & M to sponsor today's show.
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Unread Oct 24th, 2006, 09:19 AM   #9 (permalink)
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http://www.suicideforum.com

It may not be perfect... but it is a form of support, with people that may be able to relate.
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Unread Oct 24th, 2006, 09:32 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by travelyogatrance
We have THREE different members who know someone who committed suicide today? Im with Gino: what is going on?! Tragedy everywhere. My condolences to all~
I just want u to know that my love is alright.. the doctors came on time and she is okay.. she doesn't want me to see her.. but at least i know she is okay and there is light and the world is not bad at all...

Thanx for the messages.. and sorry for the message but i was all broken cuz u dont know nothing of her in ages and u read a note on ur mail so u just think the worst... im human and i have feelings, i cried all night and i know there is always hope..
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Unread Oct 24th, 2006, 10:02 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Circa2201
time heals everything.
I wish that was true...
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Unread Oct 24th, 2006, 02:35 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Psneaky
I just want u to know that my love is alright.. the doctors came on time and she is okay.. she doesn't want me to see her.. but at least i know she is okay and there is light and the world is not bad at all...

Thanx for the messages.. and sorry for the message but i was all broken cuz u dont know nothing of her in ages and u read a note on ur mail so u just think the worst... im human and i have feelings, i cried all night and i know there is always hope..
oh that is wonderful news that she is OK!!

Quote:
Oh wait! You know the first post could be just a really ****ed up end to Sesame Street episode. They will just have to get different letters than A & M to sponsor today's show.
god what is your problem?! Making jokes about the suicide of somebody's friend?! You gave good advice in the beginning but seriously, this sesame street comment is so unnecessary!!
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Unread Oct 24th, 2006, 02:38 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by travelyogatrance
god what is your problem?! Making jokes about the suicide of somebody's friend?! You gave good advice in the beginning but seriously, this sesame street comment is so unnecessary!!
Agreed!!! It's not good to make jokes about suicide. I was actually down that road one time in my life and it was by far the most unpleasent place to be.
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Unread Oct 24th, 2006, 02:39 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Deadly Groove
Agreed!!! It's not good to make jokes about suicide. I was actually down that road one time in my life and it was by far the most unpleasent place to be.

Me too and recently, I found it too painful to even read some of these posts!!
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Unread Oct 24th, 2006, 02:59 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Deadly Groove
I was actually down that road one time in my life and it was by far the most unpleasent place to be.
Interesting...the way i experienced it was that the time just before suicide comes to mind was way more painfull. Once on "the ridge" everything was better cause relief was nearby... Looking back i'm glad suzan or kate always walked in on just the right moment...wouldn't have been here otherwise
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Unread Oct 24th, 2006, 05:56 PM   #16 (permalink)
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This thread is weird. I don't know what to say. Hope ya'll get better and figure out what's wrong.
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Unread Oct 24th, 2006, 07:44 PM   #17 (permalink)
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oh no! this saddens me. depression from all that sucks. just be like "whadeva" to all that negative stuff - dont let it be a factor. its helped me be happy. focus on the good stuff even if that can be diffuicult. 8)
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Unread Oct 25th, 2006, 10:15 AM   #18 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Deadly Groove
Agreed!!! It's not good to make jokes about suicide. I was actually down that road one time in my life and it was by far the most unpleasent place to be.
Me too buddy. But I hope you got the support you needed like I had received.

I share my consolation to you guys for your troubles.
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Unread Oct 25th, 2006, 10:50 AM   #19 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gino Luoti
what in the world? what's going on?

i don't know.


but i will give out free hugs...
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Unread Oct 25th, 2006, 07:29 PM   #20 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Psneaky
My dearest friends...

i dont know where to start.. today was an awful day... well the story is like this: i was in love with the bestest girl ever.. but there were two persons.. just two fcking persons.. trying to fck me.. they always said shit about me.. all the worst things u can imagine.. all.. and today on morning.. i decided to end my life and my suffering.. i just tried.. i wish someone can wake me and say this was a bad dream..

my love decided to put and end to her life.. and i was trying to contact her.. all the time saying please reply me please answer the phone please... and now i arrive home and i read her mail.. and this is the worst day of my life.. im really the worst person ever... im the one that should be dead.. im the one.. im the ****ing one that should be dead!!! im the one who sucks.. not her, she was the bestest girl ever.. she was magic.. i dont know what to do or who to call.. right now i just want to die.. im sorry for causing problems to all of u, I hope god have her on his hands now... and i hope god ends my suffering soon.. please someone tell me this is not real.. please tell me that.. im really sorry... she was the love of my life and this all caused just for 2 people that not even know me and just wanted to ruin our life.. i hope they are happy now.. please wake me.. someone wake me...
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Ojala todo se arregle entre tu y ella even with stupid people trying to mess it up.
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