How to start and maintain conversation.

HudsonHawk · Aug 10th, 2006, 12:06 AM

Starting the conversation is not realy one of my problems, at least I dont think it is. Keeping it up for more than 2 minutes is something i need to concentrate on... this is what happens to me in the process: We start talking about some randomn topic and when that's exhausted there is this awkward pause during which i start thinking how do i keep the conversation going... what do I ask... etc. And I can be in that mental pause for at least a minute or untill I start thinking this person is no longer interested in keeping this conversation up.

JustinMead · Aug 10th, 2006, 12:09 AM

Did you watch Family Guy last night?

That usually saves me ^_-

I also really do suck at conversations, i just wait for one of my other freinds to bring somthing up :P

HudsonHawk · Aug 10th, 2006, 12:16 AM

randomn questions may save the conversation, but you can't use them everytime

JustinMead · Aug 10th, 2006, 12:20 AM

^True, making conversation is almost an art, im still yet to master it, but i have seen progress in the past 2-3 years, boy was i shy child

Deimya · Aug 10th, 2006, 02:05 AM

this will always be a mystery to me, i'm totally crappy at small (and "medium") talk. my head keeps running "empty" i guess.

some people seems to never be short of a subject, whatever it is, always directing the conversation on new territories without getting boring, overly off topic or weird. they will always amaze me.

so i can't really help you

gillie017 · Aug 10th, 2006, 03:21 AM

People often like to talk about themselves so ask them questions about themselves.

DJ Xenomorph · Aug 10th, 2006, 03:33 AM

When you start talking about a random topic, try to not let it end. Find something that can relate to your topic and branch off there. Once you start going off on bizarre tangents, back track and try to remember how each of you go to that point in the conversation. Its always fun to do that.

giorgakis · Aug 10th, 2006, 10:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gillie017

People often like to talk about themselves so ask them questions about themselves.

Yes that has always worked for me but there were 1-2 times that the other person was desperately waiting me to ask something about himself and when i did...he went on and on and on....OMG ,so boring

I pretended to listen but my mind was elsewhere

DJ_Serg · Aug 10th, 2006, 12:45 PM

I'm sort of like that too, but only with some people. I was pretty extroverted back in my country. I was a class clown in school and just always very social. But then coming here and not being able to speak a word in English changed me a whole lot in a negative way. I'm more quiet than i ever was before.
Still though, there are people i just don't know what the hell to talk about, yet there are some i can rable with all day along about one single thing lol. I guess i would say that i'm sort of bad with casual talks, unless i know the person i'm talking to or i'm just drunk.

If it's a formal discussion, like at school or work, oh man, i can bullshit about that all day long. I guess you just have to figure out what the other person's like. What they like to do, their hobbies and etc and then start from there.

travelyogatrance · Aug 10th, 2006, 02:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gillie017

People often like to talk about themselves so ask them questions about themselves.

Word~

Also the more you know, the more you'll have to talk about. Find mutual interests and let the conversation flow~

Yellowfin · Aug 10th, 2006, 04:17 PM

Generally food makes excellent conversation, because everyone can relate to it and nobody gets tired of it.

switters · Aug 10th, 2006, 06:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gillie017

wOMEN often like to talk about themselves so ask them questions about themselves.

D40mFc · Aug 10th, 2006, 06:22 PM

^^ but talking about food usually makes me hungry. And being hungry makes me grumpy. In spite of that, I agree that food is a good choice.

If you're willing to get a casual education, ask questions about something the other person is very experienced and knowlegeable about. This doesn't mean you have to sit through a full recitation of their doctorate thesis, it's alright to interrupt politely when something they say sparks a tangental thought. Conversation should not be one person talking too much to another person who is barely staying awake. If everyone in the conversation is involved, ie engaged, then more people are having a good time.

There's also the fear of silence in so many social situations, we do mask it with appropriate background music, but the awkward lull in conversation does exist, but never-ever-please-God-don't, bring up the worthless statistic that states; every 7 minutes there's a lull in conversation, or that every seven minutes someone thinks about Abraham Lincoln and that someone is destined to mention it.

ediblesound · Aug 10th, 2006, 07:55 PM

now does the root of all drama become clear? something to talk about...

Marzocchi · Aug 10th, 2006, 08:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by switters

Quote:

Originally Posted by gillie017

wOMEN often like to talk about themselves so ask them questions about themselves.

Oh.my.good I actually got tears in my eyes for laughing so hard

:

StarkRavinMad · Aug 10th, 2006, 09:21 PM

^ wow, I wish I were that easily amused.

Muad'Dib · Aug 10th, 2006, 10:33 PM

if worst comes to worst just use crappy pick up lines.

Wootman · Aug 11th, 2006, 11:19 PM

Jack Daniels and coke helps keep the conversation flowing

. The downside is you probably will remember nothing of what you actually said the next day

too-far · Aug 12th, 2006, 12:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wootman

. The downside is you probably will remember nothing of what you actually said the next day

Depending on what you talked about that might be a good thing

MISSLINEY007 · Aug 12th, 2006, 02:06 PM

go up tp them and pinch them and then ask.

Did that hurt?

Aug 10th, 2006, 12:06 AM	#1 (permalink)
HudsonHawk Cruising at 120BPM Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: New York Posts: 10,451	How to start and maintain conversation. Starting the conversation is not realy one of my problems, at least I dont think it is. Keeping it up for more than 2 minutes is something i need to concentrate on... this is what happens to me in the process: We start talking about some randomn topic and when that's exhausted there is this awkward pause during which i start thinking how do i keep the conversation going... what do I ask... etc. And I can be in that mental pause for at least a minute or untill I start thinking this person is no longer interested in keeping this conversation up. __________________ Fancy a ride on my Choo Choo Train? http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=5795CE27FA841CD7

Aug 10th, 2006, 12:09 AM	#2 (permalink)
JustinMead DI Extreme Addict Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: right? Posts: 1,960	Did you watch Family Guy last night? That usually saves me ^_- I also really do suck at conversations, i just wait for one of my other freinds to bring somthing up :P __________________ ... so reduce your blood pressure and go get naked and have fun!!!!! -Lotz ... that's about as useful as a coal powered frog-violin -Phineas ... Oh, and it's probably not best to make use of your tongue straight away.- rh1n0

Aug 10th, 2006, 12:16 AM	#3 (permalink)
HudsonHawk Cruising at 120BPM Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: New York Posts: 10,451	randomn questions may save the conversation, but you can't use them everytime __________________ Fancy a ride on my Choo Choo Train? http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=5795CE27FA841CD7

Aug 10th, 2006, 12:20 AM	#4 (permalink)
JustinMead DI Extreme Addict Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: right? Posts: 1,960	^True, making conversation is almost an art, im still yet to master it, but i have seen progress in the past 2-3 years, boy was i shy child __________________ ... so reduce your blood pressure and go get naked and have fun!!!!! -Lotz ... that's about as useful as a coal powered frog-violin -Phineas ... Oh, and it's probably not best to make use of your tongue straight away.- rh1n0

Aug 10th, 2006, 02:05 AM	#5 (permalink)
Deimya Senior Forum Addict Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Zürich Posts: 720	this will always be a mystery to me, i'm totally crappy at small (and "medium") talk. my head keeps running "empty" i guess. some people seems to never be short of a subject, whatever it is, always directing the conversation on new territories without getting boring, overly off topic or weird. they will always amaze me. so i can't really help you __________________ The future is a race between education and catastrophe. -- H.G. Wells

Aug 10th, 2006, 03:21 AM	#6 (permalink)
gillie017 intriguing ingenue Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Melbourne, Australia Posts: 1,974	People often like to talk about themselves so ask them questions about themselves. __________________ gillie017 does not endorse the products or services that may be advertised in the content of this post. Please use their competitors instead.

Aug 10th, 2006, 03:33 AM	#7 (permalink)
DJ Xenomorph DI Trance Addict Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: California Posts: 9,179	When you start talking about a random topic, try to not let it end. Find something that can relate to your topic and branch off there. Once you start going off on bizarre tangents, back track and try to remember how each of you go to that point in the conversation. Its always fun to do that. __________________ "And then something happened. I let go. Lost in oblivion -- dark and silent and complete. I found freedom. Losing all hope was freedom." - Fight Club

Aug 10th, 2006, 12:45 PM	#9 (permalink)
DJ_Serg DI Extreme Addict Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: USA Posts: 4,641	I'm sort of like that too, but only with some people. I was pretty extroverted back in my country. I was a class clown in school and just always very social. But then coming here and not being able to speak a word in English changed me a whole lot in a negative way. I'm more quiet than i ever was before. Still though, there are people i just don't know what the hell to talk about, yet there are some i can rable with all day along about one single thing lol. I guess i would say that i'm sort of bad with casual talks, unless i know the person i'm talking to or i'm just drunk. If it's a formal discussion, like at school or work, oh man, i can bullshit about that all day long. I guess you just have to figure out what the other person's like. What they like to do, their hobbies and etc and then start from there. __________________ The Sellex Project: http://www.sellexproject.com - You touch me, I feel you - Your presence surrounds me - I float away... - You are my guide, You are my light, You take me to a place where i can shine

Aug 10th, 2006, 04:17 PM	#11 (permalink)
Yellowfin DI Extreme Addict Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Cupertino, PRK Posts: 1,468	Generally food makes excellent conversation, because everyone can relate to it and nobody gets tired of it. __________________ I predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them. -- Thomas Jefferson

Aug 10th, 2006, 06:22 PM	#13 (permalink)
D40mFc Big Daddy D!! Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Spokane, WA USA Posts: 3,881	^^ but talking about food usually makes me hungry. And being hungry makes me grumpy. In spite of that, I agree that food is a good choice. If you're willing to get a casual education, ask questions about something the other person is very experienced and knowlegeable about. This doesn't mean you have to sit through a full recitation of their doctorate thesis, it's alright to interrupt politely when something they say sparks a tangental thought. Conversation should not be one person talking too much to another person who is barely staying awake. If everyone in the conversation is involved, ie engaged, then more people are having a good time. There's also the fear of silence in so many social situations, we do mask it with appropriate background music, but the awkward lull in conversation does exist, but never-ever-please-God-don't, bring up the worthless statistic that states; every 7 minutes there's a lull in conversation, or that every seven minutes someone thinks about Abraham Lincoln and that someone is destined to mention it. __________________ Visit www.freerice.com e-drivin' the PLUR bus, keepin' the Hookah Clan mobile Believe in yourself, but keep a mirror handy.

Aug 10th, 2006, 07:55 PM	#14 (permalink)
ediblesound DI Resident Mad Scientist Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: hyperlatticed in every di Posts: 13,673	now does the root of all drama become clear? something to talk about... Last edited by ediblesound : Aug 10th, 2006 at 07:59 PM.

Aug 10th, 2006, 09:21 PM	#16 (permalink)
StarkRavinMad DI Chronic Addict Join Date: May 2003 Location: adrift Posts: 6,141	^ wow, I wish I were that easily amused.

Aug 10th, 2006, 10:33 PM	#17 (permalink)
Muad'Dib DI Extreme Addict Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Santa Cruz, CA Posts: 2,325	if worst comes to worst just use crappy pick up lines. __________________ And remember, Heavy Metal Forever! - Lemmy http://kzscsledge.blogspot.com/ Tune into The Sledge Thursday nights at 10:30 PST. 88.1fm or http://www.kzsc.org Check out my podcast: The Epicast! http://www.metalinjection.net/index.php?s=Epicast&x=0&y=0

Aug 11th, 2006, 11:19 PM	#18 (permalink)
Wootman Reformed Addict Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Gaia Posts: 1,130	Jack Daniels and coke helps keep the conversation flowing . The downside is you probably will remember nothing of what you actually said the next day __________________ 700 years ago if you said the world was a sphere and the oceans were held down by an unseen magnetic force you would be considered insane

Aug 12th, 2006, 02:06 PM	#20 (permalink)
MISSLINEY007 DI Extreme Addict Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Texas dammit!( But from C Posts: 2,837	go up tp them and pinch them and then ask. Did that hurt? __________________ crazy is doing the same thing and expecting a different outcome.

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