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Unread Jan 14th, 2009, 05:49 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default I don't want to live like this anymore...

I think at this point in my life, I'm at an all-time low...

It just seems like nothing gets easier, and each day I'm faced with a new challenge that I'm forced to accept in my life. I'll be the first to admit that I am weak person mentally, and that most of my problems are common, and basic -- yet I cannot handle them the way that they are...

Every morning when I wake up, I follow the same routine. Usually I am faced with severe dry skin (on my arms, face, and back), chapped lips (that burn really bad, almost like they are on fire), and having to compromise with my mind and 'believe' that I look presentable. These problems are basic (and rather common), but they add up and just make me feel SO uncomfortable. Added with my puffy eyes (that water easily), I'm not too confident with my appearance. My pale skin doesn't help either. I've used lotion, lip balm, and various methods to reduce puffiness -- but all the problems just seem to continue. I drink a lot of water, and I get plenty of sleep...

Added to my insecurities, my personality is starting to reflect how I feel. I was once a really funny kid, but those times are gone. I'm still funny, but only around people that I actually REALLY know. I'm too shy, and embarrassed of my looks to speak in public and be noticed. Often times, I can't find the right words to say. I haven't actually been told that a girl liked me since 8th grade *I'm in 11th now*, and it does tend to get frustrating. The most frustrating part is looking at other people, and realizing that they have looks that I WISH I could possess. Added to that, they are also athletic, popular, intelligent, and have money to do whatever they wish. I'm athletic, popular, intelligent, but I don't have the money or looks to really control what I wish to do in this life. My looks have made me so depressed, that it's impossible for me to get motivated for long periods of time. I'm often happy for one hour, and miserable the next. I have rapid mood-swings, and I don't know why...

Added to that, I'm always tired. My body is always aching, and I'm always in some form of pain (even if it is in small doses). I'm always nervous, and it gets frustrating...

I can't even go to a track practice, or football practice without becoming enormously nervous -- more so than somebody playing in a Super Bowl, or pitching in a World Series.

Overall, my life isn't bad. My main problems are all surrounded around my appearance, and why I hate the way I look so much. It just gets frustrating when you love the way this girl looks, you can make her laugh, and you can compliment her -- yet it will never be, because you just aren't good looking enough. It gets me mad, but more importantly it gets me angry at God (which is not something I want to do).

Thanks for reading this. As I've stated, my problems are minor -- and meaningless to most, but they mean a lot to me. If you could give me tips to produce a better life, I would like to thank you. I know I don't have the worse life, but I'm not happy -- so why should I settle?
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Unread Jan 14th, 2009, 10:04 PM   #2 (permalink)
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i think your in a funk man... grade 11 is tough.. i went through something like that just before grade 11.. when i came back that summer i was 60lbs lighter. I was not happy with myself so i worked out and ate very little.
People started to notice me, i got a good looking boyfriend but it didnt matter still i was going through a rough time.

About the dry skin, try doing what dick head said up there^ mark this on your calender everyone im agreeing with metal head!
anyway... back to topic..

at first i was going to tell you to started working out, and eating right but it seems like you are relatively athletic... so i dont know man..
maybe you just going through a rough time.. High school is tough. I wouldnt want to go back, i hated having to care about how i looked all the ****ing time.. then eventually i think i figured out that it really doesnt matter whats on the outside! i know its easy for me to say that, but really man. Stop worrying about it so much and maybe things will get better. Stress and anxiety can do some crazy things to your body.
So take care of yourself!
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Unread Jan 16th, 2009, 09:21 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Speaking from experience, I can tell you definately not to worry about it. I think the young lady above me said exactly what is going on, your just going through a funk. I am 35 yrs old now, and I have gotten back in touch with a TON of people I went to highschool with, and I can tell you that for some it is the peak of their lives. For others, it was just an akward stepping stone to a greater thing.

It's very interesting to see the jocks and popular people get pudgy and have a boring and bland life, while the eccentric or somewhat reserved people are scattered all over the world living it up. High school is not the be all end all of your existense even though it feels like it now. Whether you blossom and gain your confidence in your senior year in high school, or your senior year in college, or when your 30 is up to you. You could meet a nice shy girl that has similar interests to yours one day and you guys could blossom together. There are a million ways for your life to play out, just remember it's the only one you have. Take one day at a time, don't pile all your "problems" on yourself at once.

If I could give you advice on the ups and downs of your mood swings, it would be to just make small goals that are easy for you to accomplish, and only do one at a time. Once you get comfortable with achieving those simple goals you put forth on yourself, start to expand them and go for a bit bigger ones. Don't wake up and say, "I am going to not be shy today and talk to a pretty girl". That's a tough leap, start off with, I am going to not look away when so and so is talking, my goal today is to keep eye contact as much as possible while they talk to me.

Start small, achieving your goals will become a habit, and pretty soon, you'll start to feel as if your winning every little game you set forth for yourself.
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Unread Jan 16th, 2009, 10:00 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Sup Aldaris and welcome to .

If non of the products that you are buying for your skin are working, then maybe you should change your diet around. Try eating different healthier stuff.

For your mood swings, i think changing things around you for the better is your only solution. May it be going to the gym, organizing your room, etc..etc. We all wish we had something from other people. Well, that's not going to happen if we're all just going to be complaining about it. Change a few things around to suit your mood.

As for money, start working kid. I was actually able to handle a full time job and school. And heck, if i can do that, you can definitely do that. Just find yourself a nice kick back full/part time temp job at an agency. Hopefully, they'll land you such an easy job that you can just do your hw there.

Lady problems, well, i say dont worry about that just yet. Just work out yourself first till you're happy again. Once you're always happy and cheerful again, ladies will flock back to you because they want that cheerful high as well. Also, once the money starts flowing, you can buy yourself the clothes that will attract certain style of girls you like.

Well, those are my thoughts. Take care man.
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Unread Jan 16th, 2009, 03:13 PM   #5 (permalink)
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in addition to what they said you need to relax
lack of sleep and stress have also been known to increase acne problems

remeber too even good looking people are insecure about their appearence
they wouldn't get their hair nice and work out at the gym if they were totally confident with their appearence
and hey if a girl says she liked you back in eight grade it means that you've got a good chance
I tend forget a lot of girls wanted to go out with me back in junior high, but i didnt go with them because i was either uninterested or oblvious to their signals.
everybody seems to go through a down period in high school, i know i did, but it will just make you a stronger more reselient person.
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Unread Jan 18th, 2009, 05:17 PM   #6 (permalink)
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how old are you? 16 or 17? don't worry man, you're still at the mercy of your hormones and they can influence a lot, from acne to mood swings to self-confidence to the way you perceive the world.
it seems like you're suffering quite a bit, so seeing a doctor about your skin is the best idea. your mood swings and down-phases don't surprise me either ("hormones"), but if you're worried you might want to try professional help as well. seeing a counsellor is nothing to be ashamed of, it doesn't mean you're crazy, but he/she might actually give you some good advice on how to deal with it and also how to build up self-confidence.

as to women, don't pressure yourself, you're still young. I know peer pressure in high school can be tough, but try not to let it influence you. It's so not worth it. I didn't enjoy high school very much either and I only have one friend left from that time, that I'm still in contact with. there's much more to life than high school.

you can do it!
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Unread Jan 18th, 2009, 10:41 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Here are the reasons why I hate my life.

I hate my pale skin
I hate my big nose
I hate my freckles
I hate my puffy eyes
I hate my sensitive eyes
I hate my semi-pointy ears
I hate my nappy hair
I hate my severe dry skin
I hate my severe chapped lips
I hate my never achieving goal to gain weight
I hate how I love this girl, yet I screwed things up with her
I hate my poor attitude
I hate my angry attitude
I hate my willingness to fail
I hate my uncomfortable body
I hate my jittery body

I just hate my life. I hate being so damn jittery. I hate being so damn ugly. These are things that I cannot control.
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Unread Jan 19th, 2009, 08:18 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Aldaris View Post
Here are the reasons why I hate my life.

I hate my pale skin
I hate my big nose
I hate my freckles
I hate my puffy eyes
I hate my sensitive eyes
I hate my semi-pointy ears
I hate my nappy hair
I hate my severe dry skin
I hate my severe chapped lips
I hate my never achieving goal to gain weight
I hate how I love this girl, yet I screwed things up with her
I hate my poor attitude
I hate my angry attitude
I hate my willingness to fail
I hate my uncomfortable body
I hate my jittery body

I just hate my life. I hate being so damn jittery. I hate being so damn ugly. These are things that I cannot control.
That's a big list of nothing, none of this is important. My lips are hella chappy right now. I need to lose weight if anything. My hair is kinda greasey. Big dumbo ears and an oversize head. I think I too have jittery body. And I certainly ****ed up in love more then once. But all of this is life. And real life is not perfect or glamorous. What you need is a job and a hobby (notice I didn't say 'or') to occupy you while you grown out of this.
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Unread Jan 19th, 2009, 08:51 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Aldaris View Post
These are things that I cannot control.
There's the killer word...

c..o..n..t..r..o..l..

Life is change. life is inherently hard, if not impossible to control - most control is an illusion.

it's far better in the long run to learn to try not to fight the change and accept that control is unnecessary.

(bear in mind many buddhists spend their entire lives attempting this and never succeed completely - but the effort is what's important, the gains from learning as you try are the true benefits...)
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Unread Jan 19th, 2009, 09:32 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Aldaris View Post
Here are the reasons why I hate my life.
.....
I hate how I love this girl, yet I screwed things up with her
.......
It sounds to me as though that's your problem - re-inforced by the fact you put it virtually exactly in the middle of the other "issues" in some way trying to hide it in that list.

If I'm right - then you just have to be patient. Time is a healer. It's no fun now - but it's needed. You need to feel sad once in a while to appreciate being happy.

Just hang in there - things will come good for you (probably when you least expect it).
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Unread Jan 19th, 2009, 12:30 PM   #11 (permalink)
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i hate my life because my hair is wavy, it sucks.
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Unread Jan 19th, 2009, 12:54 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Okay, here's my advice. I am a 10th grader, that makes me 16(soon 17, however ). And acne is also trying to bug me, especially on my back. First of all, very few of the acne medications work, that is the truth, you've gotta look for all kind of alternatives. http://www.freeacnebook.com/contents.htm << You can also find this rather useful. Also, drop all kind of sweets, that really helps, but don't get sad if you fail, I failed. I rather have this little acne problem than a sugar need problem . Now, as much as I understood, your under some pretty tough depression and I've been through that also, dude, it will get over, I had though a little different reasons. But the point is, it all will pass, it will. I also recently saw those 2 films that I wish I would have seen back then. Those are "The secret" and "What the bleep do we know?". These are both really good to mend your depression, fix your lifestyle and eventually feel good about every single day you live. Not sure how easy it is to get them though, not sure if they are downloadable, but they are worth a purchase if needed. I'd recomend you to first see "The secret" and then the other one and I know they might look like some silly movies in the first place, but as much as I've heard, it was just to attract those lazy type americans (no offense if anyone felt touched) . And for your girl things, I know it sounds like a dumb old saying, but you'll find a better one. Can sound stupid, but in truth it really is so, even if you don't believe. In the end of the day, it doesn't even matter, if you have acne, wavy hair or whatever. You've just gotta think positive and everything will go alright, it will! Just watch those two films to get that confidence in you too.
Anyway, this got too long, if you want to contact me like for some other tips how to get over that period or anything, I think this forum has private message system, you can just drop your msn or something.

Good luck!

Last edited by SwiftWidget : Jan 19th, 2009 at 12:57 PM.
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Unread Jan 19th, 2009, 10:10 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Suck it up dude, I have one of those huge greek noses, and I don't care at all. I acknowledge their are certain imperfections in the way I look, and act, as I am also a very akward person, jumpy, etc. I think you have to just stop caring, and hudson is right, you should get a hobby. Something you're passionate about! Maybe start djing?
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Unread Jan 20th, 2009, 03:23 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Default It's the "Ugly-duckling syndrome" my friend

Teen years are tough, I'll admit it. I was the shortest and scrawniest kid in school who always got picked-on until junior year (when I got into my first fight in high school). Even during senior year I was still small and felt stupid and hopeless. That was 10 years ago. I look at myself now and realize I'm looking way better now and I'm more assertive, motivated, and success-driven than ever.

Matter of fact, I went to my high school reunion in November to find out that the douchebags that picked on me now have dead-end jobs, unplanned kids, and look older and more haggard than their actual age (try looking at a 28-year-old that's completely bald and morbidly obese while keeping straight face). As for the hot chicks that turned me down at school, they're the female equivalent of the douches (maybe even bald) trying to talk to me, even they know that now I wouldn't touch them with a 40-foot pole. They all completely screwed-up their lives.

The point is you feel this way now, but years after high school the tables will turn and with the right attitude you'll find yourself at the top of your game. This is a normal phase teens go through. Hang in there, buddy
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Unread Jan 21st, 2009, 04:48 PM   #15 (permalink)
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let me just say this
who here didn't have a difficult time during high school in terms of angst, depression, and self esteem
at least to some degree
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Unread Jan 21st, 2009, 09:28 PM   #16 (permalink)
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let me just say this
who here didn't have a difficult time during high school in terms of angst, depression, and self esteem
at least to some degree

Absolutely no one. So thats why things are going to get better, if you let them, aldaris.
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Unread Jan 22nd, 2009, 03:15 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Hey I'm 18, and my voice still cracks. A lot. But you just gota laugh at things like these. I used to be so embarrassed from this, but I changed my ways.
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