In Love? Been in Love? - Page 7

travelyogatrance · Apr 29th, 2006, 05:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gugo7

thanks sorry didnt search just came across this thread wanted to reply plz dont hurt me

mate I posted that for your benefit, so you could read what other ppl had said without having to search~

Dimentio · Apr 29th, 2006, 05:47 PM

Beginning of January I met this girl and she's one of the most interesting people I could talk to. She's one of these very kind hearted and always seem like she has a smile on her face everyday. We always talked during class time and everytime I say something funny she always laughs with friendly giggle. I don't know what to think if this girl likes me or just always have a tension to laugh at everything. If it's both, I really admire her spirits. Everytime I see her, we could never talk about serious stuff, maybe a little gossip which is kind of bad but it's something I can't help but interact with her. We always had warm intellectual conversations as well. Like she could read my mind on what I'm about to say next. However, it didn't work when I was about to ask her out next. Luckily I didn't. Cat got my tongue. After that, I was cursing in my head. Why can't I just open my mouth and say it? Few days later, my self-esteem was shot, my boost of confidence was a letdown, and I had lost it all. I just learned recently that she is engaged. Mind you, she didn't have a ring, so I assumed that she was available. A smart, funny, beautiful girl has been already rescued by a prince. May they live happily ever after. I still talk to her to this day but not as much as I wanted to before. It's hard to be friends with a girl that you can't help but fall for. That's my problem.

Tell me, if you guys were in my situation, would you continue to go after her, or let her be happy who is already bestowed upon someone else's heart?

Gugo7 · Apr 29th, 2006, 05:54 PM

Dont tell her you know, she would of told you if she wanted you to know.

Dimentio · Apr 29th, 2006, 06:08 PM

That's probably why I held back.

GT4PLAY · Apr 29th, 2006, 06:39 PM

cant say i ever have been, although i have said it to a few girls, and later wished i didnt, because it only caused too many problems. the one girl i think i could have, where we literally fell in love after the first date, well i almost bailed on going into the military for her by calling my recruiter the day before i was supposed to leave and saying i didnt wanna join any more. he somehow convinced me to still go, and i did. the whole long distance thing didnt work out and we dont contact each other any more.

CoJo · Apr 29th, 2006, 07:32 PM

I can tell you what works for me...

1. Be confident. That does not mean being aggressive or anything. It means just talk to her the way you would to anyone. Listen when she talks. Usually talking to her about her problems and helping her with anything means to her you are not just another a-hole.

2. Get to know her friends! Whether it be men or women... this is important. After you meet her, make sure you make good impression to her friends as well. Because you know she is going to ask advice from her good friends about men to be with. So, the better you present yourself, the better.

3. Most important thing to me... patience! Always be patient! If you meet a girl, and it takes a month to actually go out on a "date" or if it takes five months... it does not matter. Do not really look at them as dates. Just call her once in awhile, talk to her in college or whatever... and before you know it you will be with her more often than you think. Too many guys go straight to the "can I take you out sometime?" thing. I think that is too much pressure. But if you kind of disguise it a bit such as something like say she is not good at math... Some how lead into that area and when she says "ya I hate math, I'm not good at it" then you say "I could help you with it if you want..." 9 out of 10 times she's probably going to say ok. Then just set up a time and place and there you go... your first "date"! Then it just gets better after that.

Dimentio · Apr 30th, 2006, 12:42 AM

I wish for once she would know how I feel. because I'm falling for her more and more. We have a lot of the same interests... should I tell her... or should I not? She's done everything for me just by talking with words. Words that lift me up into thinking... how can somebody so wonderful as her care for a bum like me? she's absolutely the best. and she deserves the best.

PhineasFreak · Apr 30th, 2006, 05:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xLittleTrancex

I just learned recently that she is engaged. Mind you, she didn't have a ring, so I assumed that she was available...

...Tell me, if you guys were in my situation, would you continue to go after her, or let her be happy who is already bestowed upon someone else's heart?

CoJo's advice seems pretty sound to me, though you do wonder why she has no ring...

it's that eternal question - how hard do you push, not wanting to seem needy or creepy like a stalker, but not wanting to let a good thing pass you by because you didn't act.

considering my posts in this thread maybe i'd best read others advice not offer my own.

CoJo · Apr 30th, 2006, 07:00 AM

That is a hard thing... trying to push hard enough to get her to know you like her, but not trying to look like a stalker or a rapist. Basically, most guys push too hard. I have seen it a lot. There is really only one thing you can do to let her know how you feel about her. And that is to tell her. It is probably the hardest thing you will ever do. The best way to tell her is when you are alone with her... and make sure you have known her for sometime (maybe around two months). But if she is engaged then it is kind of hopeless. The best thing you could do is say something like, "If you need anything, I'll be there." But who told you she was engaged? Did she tell you herself or was it from some other source? Because if she did not have a ring... that is odd.

Dimentio · Apr 30th, 2006, 03:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PhineasFreak

considering my posts in this thread maybe i'd best read others advice not offer my own.

Whatever keeps the flames burning my friend.

Quote:

Originally Posted by CoJo

That is a hard thing.......Because if she did not have a ring... that is odd.

No kidding it's hard. but I think the only way to avoid being under the impression of a stalker would being friends for her and that bond of trust to grow. I've only known her in the beginning of the year and her friends told me that she was engaged. I never asked her. Maybe it was recent and maybe she didn't find the engagement on a need-to-know basis to everyone. But could you guys imagine these relationships are like crossroads. If you choose one or the other and all of life changes. No road is exactly the same. It's a funny logic I know and somewhat highly controversial but it was just thinking at the moment. Food for thought. heh.

This world got so vulnerable to stalkers and rapists, it's one thing like walking on thin ice. Got to watch your every move only to not get the wrong impression. However, I guess the only conclusion I could come up with is, if it's meant to be, it's meant to be. Not something I want to live by but I'm at a dead end here.

travelyogatrance · Apr 30th, 2006, 04:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xLittleTrancex

I wish for once she would know how I feel. because I'm falling for her more and more. We have a lot of the same interests... should I tell her... or should I not? She's done everything for me just by talking with words. Words that lift me up into thinking... how can somebody so wonderful as her care for a bum like me? she's absolutely the best. and she deserves the best.

I cannot stress enough how crucial confidence is in the dating game-and in life!! You don't need to be uberconfident in all aspects of yourself but a general self-assuredness is absolutely critical. If you don't think you're worth loving, why should someone else think so. Its about being comfortable with who you are, right now, good, bad, and ugly. Focus on the good, work on the bad and the ugly, but believe that you are worth loving as you are. Because we're all flawed and we're all a work in progress, but I believe that (almost) everyone has awesome qualities that make them worth loving (but people have to make these known to others). Cultivate those qualities in yourself and watch the good things come to you.

With regards to the gal: for now, you two must remain friends. That may change at a later date, but if she's engaged to someone else, there is no sense trying to purposely ruin that. Hang tight as mates, but nothing more. For now. That's better than nothing, right?

CoJo · Apr 30th, 2006, 07:25 PM

Exactly. Just be friends. Who knows? You may be there for her when their engagement crashes down. Not something to hope for... but you get the picture. But I know how you feel when you say, "Why would she want someone like me?" It is not really a thought of self-unapproval, but more of you just think of her as an angel. You have to play your role of a good friend.

**pinkie** · May 1st, 2006, 12:02 AM

i know it's love at first sight the instant the guy approaches me, gets all up in my grill, and rocks out while sayin "sup girl? sup girl? holler."

it gets me everytime. brings a tear to me eye.

Wannab · May 1st, 2006, 12:17 AM

yeh pinkie thats some seriously suaveness there..... maybe i should learn from them... jk

Hardcore_Dan · May 1st, 2006, 12:23 AM

Once i was in love... in response to my love i had my heart crushed and my soul smashed. I'm glad it happened, if it hadn't happened i might not have turned out to be the cynical bastard I am today!

StarkRavinMad · May 1st, 2006, 08:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pinkie

i know it's love at first sight the instant the guy approaches me, gets all up in my grill, and rocks out while sayin "sup girl? sup girl? holler."

it gets me everytime. brings a tear to me eye.

Sup girl? I seen you checkin me...

faerie dust · May 1st, 2006, 09:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pinkie

i know it's love at first sight the instant the guy approaches me, gets all up in my grill, and rocks out while sayin "sup girl? sup girl? holler."

it gets me everytime. brings a tear to me eye.

~post of the month!~

Rockymtns4fr · May 1st, 2006, 01:27 PM

Love is a verb, not a noun.

Dimentio · May 1st, 2006, 10:13 PM

Can you love someone that you have never met?

Rockymtns4fr · May 2nd, 2006, 09:38 AM

Yes. I tallked to her, but never met the love of my life before she died. But I did get to know her and love her.

Apr 29th, 2006, 05:47 PM	#122 (permalink)
Dimentio DI Chillout Dream Addict Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Dimension DI Posts: 6,282	Beginning of January I met this girl and she's one of the most interesting people I could talk to. She's one of these very kind hearted and always seem like she has a smile on her face everyday. We always talked during class time and everytime I say something funny she always laughs with friendly giggle. I don't know what to think if this girl likes me or just always have a tension to laugh at everything. If it's both, I really admire her spirits. Everytime I see her, we could never talk about serious stuff, maybe a little gossip which is kind of bad but it's something I can't help but interact with her. We always had warm intellectual conversations as well. Like she could read my mind on what I'm about to say next. However, it didn't work when I was about to ask her out next. Luckily I didn't. Cat got my tongue. After that, I was cursing in my head. Why can't I just open my mouth and say it? Few days later, my self-esteem was shot, my boost of confidence was a letdown, and I had lost it all. I just learned recently that she is engaged. Mind you, she didn't have a ring, so I assumed that she was available. A smart, funny, beautiful girl has been already rescued by a prince. May they live happily ever after. I still talk to her to this day but not as much as I wanted to before. It's hard to be friends with a girl that you can't help but fall for. That's my problem. Tell me, if you guys were in my situation, would you continue to go after her, or let her be happy who is already bestowed upon someone else's heart? __________________ One night, I was lying on my bed gazing at the beautiful moon and stars and I thought to myself... "Where the %#$! did my roof go?!" ♫■♫■♫■♫■♫■♫■♫■♫■♫■♫■♫■♫■♫ Smith & Pledger - White Master of Dimensions. Pleaser of Crowds. Last edited by Dimentio : Apr 29th, 2006 at 05:51 PM.

Apr 29th, 2006, 05:54 PM	#123 (permalink)
Gugo7 Regular Forum Addict Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Behind You Posts: 360	Dont tell her you know, she would of told you if she wanted you to know. __________________ The official toxicity limit for humans is between one and one and half grams of cocaine depending on body weight. I was averaging five grams a day, maybe more. I snorted ten grams in ten minutes once. I guess I had a high tolerance. -George Jung

Apr 29th, 2006, 06:08 PM	#124 (permalink)
Dimentio DI Chillout Dream Addict Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Dimension DI Posts: 6,282	That's probably why I held back. __________________ One night, I was lying on my bed gazing at the beautiful moon and stars and I thought to myself... "Where the %#$! did my roof go?!" ♫■♫■♫■♫■♫■♫■♫■♫■♫■♫■♫■♫■♫ Smith & Pledger - White Master of Dimensions. Pleaser of Crowds.

Apr 29th, 2006, 07:32 PM	#126 (permalink)
CoJo Regular Forum Addict Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Tampa, Florida Posts: 313	I can tell you what works for me... 1. Be confident. That does not mean being aggressive or anything. It means just talk to her the way you would to anyone. Listen when she talks. Usually talking to her about her problems and helping her with anything means to her you are not just another a-hole. 2. Get to know her friends! Whether it be men or women... this is important. After you meet her, make sure you make good impression to her friends as well. Because you know she is going to ask advice from her good friends about men to be with. So, the better you present yourself, the better. 3. Most important thing to me... patience! Always be patient! If you meet a girl, and it takes a month to actually go out on a "date" or if it takes five months... it does not matter. Do not really look at them as dates. Just call her once in awhile, talk to her in college or whatever... and before you know it you will be with her more often than you think. Too many guys go straight to the "can I take you out sometime?" thing. I think that is too much pressure. But if you kind of disguise it a bit such as something like say she is not good at math... Some how lead into that area and when she says "ya I hate math, I'm not good at it" then you say "I could help you with it if you want..." 9 out of 10 times she's probably going to say ok. Then just set up a time and place and there you go... your first "date"! Then it just gets better after that. __________________ ___________________________________ http://www.mixcloud.com/CoJo813/

Apr 30th, 2006, 12:42 AM	#127 (permalink)
Dimentio DI Chillout Dream Addict Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Dimension DI Posts: 6,282	I wish for once she would know how I feel. because I'm falling for her more and more. We have a lot of the same interests... should I tell her... or should I not? She's done everything for me just by talking with words. Words that lift me up into thinking... how can somebody so wonderful as her care for a bum like me? she's absolutely the best. and she deserves the best. __________________ One night, I was lying on my bed gazing at the beautiful moon and stars and I thought to myself... "Where the %#$! did my roof go?!" ♫■♫■♫■♫■♫■♫■♫■♫■♫■♫■♫■♫■♫ Smith & Pledger - White Master of Dimensions. Pleaser of Crowds.

Apr 29th, 2006, 06:39 PM	#125 (permalink)
GT4PLAY Junior Addict Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Barkatraz, Louisiana Posts: 57	cant say i ever have been, although i have said it to a few girls, and later wished i didnt, because it only caused too many problems. the one girl i think i could have, where we literally fell in love after the first date, well i almost bailed on going into the military for her by calling my recruiter the day before i was supposed to leave and saying i didnt wanna join any more. he somehow convinced me to still go, and i did. the whole long distance thing didnt work out and we dont contact each other any more.

Apr 30th, 2006, 07:00 AM	#129 (permalink)
CoJo Regular Forum Addict Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Tampa, Florida Posts: 313	That is a hard thing... trying to push hard enough to get her to know you like her, but not trying to look like a stalker or a rapist. Basically, most guys push too hard. I have seen it a lot. There is really only one thing you can do to let her know how you feel about her. And that is to tell her. It is probably the hardest thing you will ever do. The best way to tell her is when you are alone with her... and make sure you have known her for sometime (maybe around two months). But if she is engaged then it is kind of hopeless. The best thing you could do is say something like, "If you need anything, I'll be there." But who told you she was engaged? Did she tell you herself or was it from some other source? Because if she did not have a ring... that is odd. __________________ ___________________________________ http://www.mixcloud.com/CoJo813/

Apr 30th, 2006, 07:25 PM	#132 (permalink)
CoJo Regular Forum Addict Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Tampa, Florida Posts: 313	Exactly. Just be friends. Who knows? You may be there for her when their engagement crashes down. Not something to hope for... but you get the picture. But I know how you feel when you say, "Why would she want someone like me?" It is not really a thought of self-unapproval, but more of you just think of her as an angel. You have to play your role of a good friend. __________________ ___________________________________ http://www.mixcloud.com/CoJo813/

May 1st, 2006, 12:02 AM	#133 (permalink)
pinkie Sassy Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Radford, VA Posts: 5,976	i know it's love at first sight the instant the guy approaches me, gets all up in my grill, and rocks out while sayin "sup girl? sup girl? holler." it gets me everytime. brings a tear to me eye.

May 1st, 2006, 12:17 AM	#134 (permalink)
Wannab DI Extreme Addict Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: US Posts: 1,093	yeh pinkie thats some seriously suaveness there..... maybe i should learn from them... jk

May 1st, 2006, 12:23 AM	#135 (permalink)
Hardcore_Dan DI Extreme Addict Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Calgary, Canada Posts: 1,655	Once i was in love... in response to my love i had my heart crushed and my soul smashed. I'm glad it happened, if it hadn't happened i might not have turned out to be the cynical bastard I am today! __________________ HTID

May 1st, 2006, 01:27 PM	#138 (permalink)
Rockymtns4fr High Peaks Fidelity Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: High in the Rockies Posts: 702	Love is a verb, not a noun.

May 1st, 2006, 10:13 PM	#139 (permalink)
Dimentio DI Chillout Dream Addict Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Dimension DI Posts: 6,282	Can you love someone that you have never met? __________________ One night, I was lying on my bed gazing at the beautiful moon and stars and I thought to myself... "Where the %#$! did my roof go?!" ♫■♫■♫■♫■♫■♫■♫■♫■♫■♫■♫■♫■♫ Smith & Pledger - White Master of Dimensions. Pleaser of Crowds.

May 2nd, 2006, 09:38 AM	#140 (permalink)
Rockymtns4fr High Peaks Fidelity Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: High in the Rockies Posts: 702	Yes. I tallked to her, but never met the love of my life before she died. But I did get to know her and love her.

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