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Unread Apr 19th, 2010, 05:20 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Exclamation OH MY GOD! What Am I Going To Do?!

I'm so confused.
I've been with the boy for a while now, and I adore him absolutely.
We are actually best friends, who got together, and have stayed together, and now he is being posted, and I've been asked to go with him. the only thing is that the posting, (while being in AUS) is VERY remote. it's a long way away from everything I know. I'm kind of thinking that while I love it where I am, I would also equally love being anywhere with him. I have opportunities while I'm up there of course, and will be chasing my own goals too...

it's just, some times I'm not 110% sure of what he means when he says stuff to me. like. he won't even let me read a message to him when he's driving, saying that he'll look at it later and stuff in case there are coppers around. okay. fair call, but seriously, that's a bit weird, like. not letting me.... are you hiding something? are you talking to another girl? are you saying shit about me behind my back? like, what is the big deal?

I guess I'm just wanting to be 100% sure of where we stand with each other before we go ahead with this massive step in our history together.

I'm so nervous to be going away. equally though. I'm really excited, as it's an amazing place in AUS to visit, and if I get the job I'm hoping for, it would be even cooler to have the opportunity to live and work in the same place.

I have so much running through my head, and I'm probably overthinking every little move and thing he does... am I right to do so?
I've never had any reason to NOT trust him before... so why am I getting so noidy now? is it because I'm going to be moving in with him and be so remote for at least 2 years?!

oh my god. am I doing the right thing?
I seriously need to just NOT think about this, and relax. but I can't. and every time I try to relax, I get butterflies doing flip flops in my tummy.

Family. I need some advice!!!!! please help.


a very bewildered Logi.
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Unread Apr 19th, 2010, 05:31 AM   #2 (permalink)
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ok one thing. i lost myself a perfect girl for the same reason.
what is shes with someone else, why cant i read her texts. am i 100%
thats why i was always around her and thats why she left me, she felt like she needed more freedom.

and 2. this is good! you like going round Australia with him, this is just like a big holiday..... part from i think youll be stationed in aboville :\

but still its 2 years? its like a big holiday, a time you can spend with just him. and stop stressing out about him not letting you read his texts, people are really touchy about thier texts. and im sure theres no one else otherwise why would he ask you to go live with him for 2 years?
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Unread Apr 19th, 2010, 05:42 AM   #3 (permalink)
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yeah true that... but normally it's like. if he needs to message someone while we are road tripping, and he's driving, I'll do it... now he's like all protective of his phone... I'm not all crazy and obsessed with reading his phone. I couldn't give a shit. but the fact that he's being really standoffish is making me feel weird. and even now. he's on base and I know he's finished work hours ago... and it's like is there any time for me?


am I being too pedantic?
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Unread Apr 19th, 2010, 06:09 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Hey logi ! that should be some great news

I mean, if I sum up : settling with your beloved, in a marvellous place full of opportunities and HE is the one who asked for it !


you're nervous, don't know what to do, wondering if you should accept, questionning every little thing and that's normal to me..hey! that's a big change no ? and as you said it would be "a massive step" in your history !

the most important thing is "TRUST". and that leads us to the question you raised with the phone text situation : what do you know about him, do you know his friends, family... i mean you personaly...did he already experienced before you living with someone (in case why it didn't work for him)...since when are you together ?...blablabla.. do you know him really ? can you trust in him ?

nobody will take the decision for you logi. It's all yours ! but, if it's still not obvious for you now i think it's because you need to take a little more time to think about it, talk about it with friends and family, and with him of course, try to know more about his plans for the future, is he serious guy and kind and fun....time will confort you in your own decision.

Anyway, life is not "linear" and such decisions are not irreversible. also what do you really risk if it fails ? fails are also part of life...and as you said, it should be a great opportunity regarding work and two years isn't soo long time to spend "remoted"...also you won't be totally remote as far as you'll keep an internet connection


seriously, so much things could be said here, and others will do it better than i could do, so i'll end with this (but you're already aware of it) : never forget and stop chasing your own goals.

this decision is to be taken with you heart also with your head
so take the time to think about it if needed and enjoy life

Last edited by Mardouk : Apr 19th, 2010 at 08:38 AM. Reason: for speaking a proper english ...at least a not to bad one ^^
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Unread Apr 19th, 2010, 08:23 AM   #5 (permalink)
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One approach is to take the relationship part out of the question. If you weren't seeing anyone would the job opportunities be enough to draw you to that part of AUS on your own?

If the answer is yes, then this is a no brainer, you go, because even if things don't work out with him, you still get something you want.

If the answer is you're not sure, I think you should go anyway. You are young, and when you're young is the time to push yourself to experience life and new places. Relationships are definitely a big part of life, but they aren't the only thing in life, especially when you are young.

If your answer is no, that's when the decision is tough. It sounds like you don't completely trust some of what he does, and that's not good. That's not to say that will lead to a breakdown, but it doesn't bode well.

Good luck whatever you decide
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Unread Apr 19th, 2010, 05:52 PM   #6 (permalink)
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thanks very much for the feedback! I read through, and some of what you both said certainly clicked with me... I think sometimes even though I know it, it takes some one else saying it for you to understand it better?

anyway, we have been best friends for almost 8 years now, and been together officially for 6 months... unofficially I think it's probably a lot longer... I know you will probably be thinking "OHMYGOD! 6 MONTHS IS A BABY OF A RELATIONSHIP!! but seriously? we have been in each others lives for so long.

his family live way out west and are really supportive of his decisions, and were really excited to hear that we are moving in together.
I suppose one of the main things I had against the whole text situation was that I was just kind of shocked that he would be so guarded. I spoke to hima bout it last night, and he told me he was actually having a tiff with one of his other friends (chick) and that she was really upset that we were moving away, and that I was going to be moving in with him. He gave me his phone *which I gave back to him, and told him I didn't want to snoop* and he said, there was nothing to hide, he just didn't want me seeing what the other chick had written about me, I saw it anyway, and it was harsh, the things she said were not called for and pretty low, but he said that the only reason he didn't want me to see it was cos he didn't want me to feel bad about him being in a fight with his childhood buddy, and he also didn't want my feelings to be hurt.

as far as being remote goes, I know I will still have the net, so I can still communicate with my family, the thing is though, have you seen how big Australia is? and where Katherine is in relation to the capitol? it's over 3000kms. it's a long way. I spose I'm just nervous. I also told him last night that I wouldn't go if he wasn't 100% sure that he wanted me to be there with him. he said he was and that he really wants me to share his life with him.

My mum told us both over dinner the other night, that she thought it was early days to be moving in together, but that we were both strong and mature enough to come to the decision that we do infact love each other and that we do want to have new and exciting experiences with each other. while my family is sad about my moving SO FAR AWAY, they are excited at the prospect of a new holiday destination, and a new lease on our relationship *boy and I*

gosh. there is just so much to do before I head up. I just hope I can get everything sorted out as soon as possible!!

:
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Unread Apr 19th, 2010, 06:20 PM   #7 (permalink)
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logi, if whatever you have right now where you are will still be there in 2 years, then I think you should go

If it works out, great. You'll have good times and grow your relationship. If it doesnt work out, you can just go back to what you'd always known.

Although moving in after 6 months of dating is quite early, you have a long history of friendship with this guy, so I think the circumstances are a little bit different than a couple that has only known each other for that 6 months period, or only casually before then.

I think you should make a go of it, cuz you could be in for a really fun adventure ~~

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Unread Apr 19th, 2010, 06:20 PM   #8 (permalink)
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hey logi !! needs some help to pack the box ? am already booked till the end of the week with Lilac's moving ! but am free from saturday and after !!

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Unread Apr 19th, 2010, 08:07 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by travelyogatrance View Post
logi, if whatever you have right now where you are will still be there in 2 years, then I think you should go

If it works out, great. You'll have good times and grow your relationship. If it doesnt work out, you can just go back to what you'd always known.

Although moving in after 6 months of dating is quite early, you have a long history of friendship with this guy, so I think the circumstances are a little bit different than a couple that has only known each other for that 6 months period, or only casually before then.

I think you should make a go of it, cuz you could be in for a really fun adventure ~~

see people, this is why i love TYT. she makes me feel like there is hope,

and logi, going to a place with someone you love and have fun with can become a wonderful experience.

before you leave make a back up plan, would you rather live your life wondering "what if?", or would you rather learn something new?

think about it...... hope all these posts help, plus DI fam will still be here so you can always talk to us when your lonely, out of whack or just in need to play and have fun.
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Unread Apr 19th, 2010, 08:10 PM   #10 (permalink)
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: thanks family I'm feeling a little more confident now. I'll let you know what's happening in the coming weeks.

eek! hooray! I'm so excited...
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Unread Apr 19th, 2010, 08:32 PM   #11 (permalink)
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maybe i'm a little late to reply but long time ago after certain events in my life i got a motto for myself

<follow your heart and you'll never have to wonder "what if">

best of luck to you logi!!!!!
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Unread Apr 19th, 2010, 11:10 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by trance4ever View Post
<follow your heart and you'll never have to wonder "what if">
When you have to make a choice it means there were other choices you could have made, so there will always be a place for the "what if".
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Unread Apr 20th, 2010, 07:12 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by rh1n0 View Post
When you have to make a choice it means there were other choices you could have made, so there will always be a place for the "what if".

yes, i know that, my point of view is that a lot of the times when we are faced with certain kind of decisions, like logi is facing now, there may be disagreement between the head and the heart and the latter tends to be overruled




of course i am not saying that you should ignore your common sense and do something stupid
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Unread Apr 20th, 2010, 07:53 AM   #14 (permalink)
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moving away from everything you are familar with, for someone you have been with for such a short time is something i wouldnt do...frankly i think moving in with someone that soon is too early..yes you've known each other for so many years but its only now that something serious is happening. Don't rush your choice though whatever it may be
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Unread Apr 20th, 2010, 02:21 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MISSLINEY007 View Post
plus DI fam will still be here so you can always talk to us when your lonely, out of whack or just in need to play and have fun.
Or when you post bunches of news stories

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the only reason he didn't want me to see it was cos he didn't want me to feel bad about him being in a fight with his childhood buddy, and he also didn't want my feelings to be hurt.
OMG Awesome BF

Seems to be a general agreement that it's not at all bad for you to go. In fact, very good for you. Off you go!
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Unread Apr 20th, 2010, 04:12 PM   #16 (permalink)
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whats posted mean?
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Unread Apr 20th, 2010, 04:31 PM   #17 (permalink)
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whats posted mean?
When you are being "forced" to relocate because of your job. This is the best explanation I could think of.
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Unread Apr 20th, 2010, 05:14 PM   #18 (permalink)
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When you are being "forced" to relocate because of your job. This is the best explanation I could think of.
AH thank you. now i understand
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Unread Apr 20th, 2010, 11:19 PM   #19 (permalink)
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@ stev: oh sorry! yes, he's in the RAAF *Royal Australian Air Force* so, he's being transferred to the north to study in a new location...
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Unread Apr 21st, 2010, 01:03 AM   #20 (permalink)
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i think it would be cool to fix planes
my friend is restoring an old war bird at the RAAF base near me.

he you should convince them to post him in SA then you come and say hi
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