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Unread Aug 16th, 2008, 01:05 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default I Cry

Ok this is my first time diong this so dont be to mean.

"Cry"
I leave when you see me cry
why i cry you think to your self
i cry cuz i have fallen for you
and i know its giong to end
I tell my self i can do better
but i love the smell of you hair
the touch of your skin against mine
The sweet yet incent kiss you give me
the way you look at me
the nights you fall asleep in my arms
thats why i cry when i see you
i ask my self
what is giong to happen now
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Unread Aug 16th, 2008, 02:17 AM   #2 (permalink)
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grammar could be better as well as spelling otherwise the general feel of the poem is good =)
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Unread Aug 16th, 2008, 11:30 PM   #3 (permalink)
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thanks, ya i know i need to get better. haha
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Unread Aug 20th, 2008, 04:45 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Yeah you could work on the grammar. Good job though.
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Unread Aug 20th, 2008, 08:42 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Its nice. Let me try one.

Every night
Your in my dreams
Surrounded by a starry sky
With your angelic voice
You sing me asleep
And bid a goodnight
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Unread Feb 10th, 2009, 01:22 AM   #6 (permalink)
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thanks, ya i know i need to get better. haha
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Unread Feb 13th, 2009, 10:17 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SmilinKnight View Post
thanks, ya i know i need to get better. haha
Quote:
Originally Posted by varunsharma View Post
thanks, ya i know i need to get better. haha
#9 Now ain't you helpful?
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